continued Questions..

How many times have I realized that I do not know myself or my Life at all.. and yet again and again I forget or rather be fooled and get dragged into these materialistic halls.
Whenever I am winning, you change the rules.. I am not angry or mad, just asking. as I am asking questions today.. let me put them all in here, may be you'll care to answer them one day.
why is it hard for me to forgive. why do I expect so much from others and not accept them as they are. I am not a very good person, most of the time temperamental, but why? Do I have emotional problem and instability. Why do I have very good and very bad memory at the same time. Where do my thoughts leak? or wait, do I have a split personality. If yes since when and how.. will I ever know my real self?
Spiritual stories move me. but then why I do not believe and accept your extended hand even when You keep on helping and forgiving me. I still am not willing to help myself and accept you.
These thoughts are like free radicals to me, meaning less and unstoppable. I know what i am writing is a matter of fact trivial and judgemental, but then being human was not a choice for me.
I know some questions do not have any answers but ignoring them is just not my way, they should be out in open. Who knows what I am gonna do tomorrow, I am done asking questions and will answer some , some day, Yes I have answers as well whose questions don't exist. Not yet, I am waiting for them to be asked. All of them should be heard.

You cannot answer a Question with Question, equation just wont hold true.

Language of grey

Have you ever been indecesive in life? been short of words, expressions, and been confused about being confused.
Why can't the answer to certain questions be straight and simple as yes or no, black or white.
Why do the brain over process a thought and sway between the extremities of black and white, a scale of grey.
I envy people who have the expertise to read this scale which I choose to call a language, A language of grey.