On the go

..shake off this drizzle of ashes you must be forever on the go..

Every once in a while we feel down, drained, uncertain... (list can go on.. there are hell lot of -ve adjectives..). That's not a problem, you know.. its a "potential problem" which will catch up if you're not going to act up. If God wanted us to be perfect he would have created robots, but no! he wanted us to make mistakes, learn and then go on. I think life is some kind of curve which is supposed to go up & down (..am still working on the formula which will win me peace prize.. ). In the big picture you're a dot on x-y axis, but the full picture which has been carved by your actions can only be admired by the highness, its filled with emotions in the right mix. Picture can be sad or happy, its you to decide what it is to be.

continued Questions..

How many times have I realized that I do not know myself or my Life at all.. and yet again and again I forget or rather be fooled and get dragged into these materialistic halls.
Whenever I am winning, you change the rules.. I am not angry or mad, just asking. as I am asking questions today.. let me put them all in here, may be you'll care to answer them one day.
why is it hard for me to forgive. why do I expect so much from others and not accept them as they are. I am not a very good person, most of the time temperamental, but why? Do I have emotional problem and instability. Why do I have very good and very bad memory at the same time. Where do my thoughts leak? or wait, do I have a split personality. If yes since when and how.. will I ever know my real self?
Spiritual stories move me. but then why I do not believe and accept your extended hand even when You keep on helping and forgiving me. I still am not willing to help myself and accept you.
These thoughts are like free radicals to me, meaning less and unstoppable. I know what i am writing is a matter of fact trivial and judgemental, but then being human was not a choice for me.
I know some questions do not have any answers but ignoring them is just not my way, they should be out in open. Who knows what I am gonna do tomorrow, I am done asking questions and will answer some , some day, Yes I have answers as well whose questions don't exist. Not yet, I am waiting for them to be asked. All of them should be heard.

You cannot answer a Question with Question, equation just wont hold true.

Language of grey

Have you ever been indecesive in life? been short of words, expressions, and been confused about being confused.
Why can't the answer to certain questions be straight and simple as yes or no, black or white.
Why do the brain over process a thought and sway between the extremities of black and white, a scale of grey.
I envy people who have the expertise to read this scale which I choose to call a language, A language of grey.

Glimpse of a mysterious scorpio mind..

Friends play very important part in one's life. Its real late I am realizing that I am a Loner, always was.. When my classmates were part of one group or another, I was always a left out, not because I was a misfit, but because I wanted to be part of all the groups. May it be a girlie one.. or a sporty.. a hip hop or a geek society. I was all, like a jack of all the trades and wanna be king. Nothing was impossible for me, I was diferent, a gifted one. I always got what I really truely wanted, even though I never realized its worth in the start and Now when I look back, every thing looks like a piece of puzzle perfectly fitting in its own place.

My friends were always special, bestest of all.. inspiring me to strive for more, and reach my utmost potential. Even though I am emotional person, but life has also given me this detached nature, which helps me to go on even when alone.... Its not that I miss being with my friends or cherish my loneliness but a strange and mixed feeling of being detached to my friends but at the same time attached to the memories of the time I spent with them.

You may call me selfish and I wont blame you! coz I still am in process of unraveling the mystery called ME!

Journey

Journey

When train of life swept me past
How I wonder on it's last
For the bond I made were too fragile
that a thrust of death pull them apart

Too Fragile I was born as child.....
My parents held me in their arms ,
with delight..
then i grew big taking small steps..
Leapt my childhood filling all gaps!!

Then the youth so live & vivid
what not to do question
was timid
As it came so it went
For time don't stop even to pant!!

With age comes beautiful cage,
Imprisoning me dropping all rage.
Stations of life goes one by one...
Meeting & Parting evry one.

Rules & paras of life goes missing,
with the snake comes the hissing..
Near or Far.. I lost my vision,
For what this life to me was given....

Got diffused in myself..
All wind up in life's game.
In God's drama i forgot my role!!!
Swinging..twisting on life's 'rock n role'

Quietly one day it took me by surprise..
like the thread was cut of a kite..
I fell down in my own sight..
Now cant do things but only sigh!

Gaurd shows the light red..
reminding the ultimate end..
Do all good things, so not to regret
As life is a smoke which do not get wet..
No matter how much you cry..
Once you're Dead!

-------

Smile

Thundering clouds,

pouring down rains,

So do my tears..

As my heart pains.

*

Dew mirrors you,

as both of us knew..

you're never too far!

but heart knows no par

*

Remembering times..

when you were mine

In tear or smile..

sharing best time!

*

Missing you............

from the depth of my heart

sacrificing today,

to reach the stars!

*

"Gravity will keep

the roots united.."

promise today..

For you I pray.

*

Deep in my heart...

A pain arise..

struggling tears for you

I smile!

----

Dark Knight

We need some one to help us make our way out of this dark age.. Some one with so much hope and passion that the weakeness should feel weak to fight with.. No problem in this life is unresolvable.. most of the time the solution to any problem is small and simple.. but as we are in awe with the problem's magnitute.. we overlook and underestimate the solution lying before us..
Road ahead may be long.. but journey starts with 1 step...
The some one.. capable of taking us out of our miseries is none other than we.. ourselves.. you are your own best friend... for who knows you better than anybody in this world.. you know yourself since birth.. you've known yourself in fear and in happyness.. one can fool the world.. but who can fool himself... be the Knight, Dark Knight.. fight the evil.. spread the light..

A day of my life

A beautiful saturday morning.. its raining..

The pigeons in my balcony are having guests.. so there are some 5 pigeons sitting in a small corner.. all seems to be shivering from the cold wind blows.. yet enjoying the togetherness..

My balcony gives a broad view of nearby slums.. small houses with tin roofs,

dads waiting for the sun to give break.. so that they can rush to earn their daily bread..

and there are children playing in the rain.. with no worries.. smiling when their moms come yelling at them..

I remember my days in hostel.. how we used to bunk classes.. for us a rainy day was a holiday..

sipping tea in each others room listening to songs and pulling each others leg...

Rains bring out the child in us, makes us want to splash, in puddle of life !!!